TRUE STORIES

TRUE STORIES

Thursday, 22 December 2011

Never do the blame game

 One of the most insidious tempting habits is the habit of blaming others or external conditions for our failures, mistakes, problems, and lack of success. You might call it "the blame game."

Blaming others is a very easy thing to do. It creeps into our lives in subtle, as well as not so subtle ways. It shows up in our thoughts and in our conversations. We might, for example, think to ourselves, "I'd be more successful if the products I were selling were of better quality," or "I'd make more money if I had taken a different career direction". We might attribute our lack of fulfillment to changing times, recession, a missed opportunity, or too little education. Or, we might complain "I can't help it, no one ever taught me how to close a deal." The habit of blaming can and does happen in almost any situation – we blame our competitors, employer, the government, our personal history, our age, even our parents or current family responsibilities.

It's not that our tendency to blame is without any merit. There usually is a grain or truth in our complaints. But that's part of the problem. We can almost always justify to ourselves why our version of the blame game is valid. But all that does is keep the game going. And in doing so, we move away from the solution. It's really easy to blame our lack of exercise on our schedule – it's little tougher to admit that we are not prioritizing.

Most of the time blaming isn't blatant. It's far more subtle. And that's precisely why it's hard to identify – and put an end to. Yet, if you can have the humility to admit that you, too, fall into this habit from time to time – and you can identify those instances – you will have opened the door to success in life.

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Saturday, 10 December 2011

Self improvement advice free of charge

If only self improvement advice were free and scattered around everywhere, then there will be no problem regarding life, happiness and success. But then again, this is life. And it does not work that way.

What would you do if you are trapped in an environment that you do not want to be in?  What if you are sick and tired of your job?

What can we do to solve this dilemma?

It is possible to take inspired and motivated action to survive your present situation and live the life you always dreamed of.

It is not that easy though.  You will have to come out of your comfort zones to discover potentials and opportunities waiting for you.  You have to conquer your fear and take calculated risks. You have to stay focused and persevere despite the difficulties you will encounter.

Success does not come easy.  It takes heart, passion and time. Experience is also a factor. The learning you get everybody becomes your foundation. These are the things we do not need to pay for.

You have to work harder, dig deeper, and sacrifice more to attain your ambitions. But no, you do not have to hate the world and feel bad when you encounter difficult situation.  Just remember the Law of Attraction. If you hate the world, the world will hate you back.

What can you do? Below are some free advices to help you when facing difficult situations in life. They will also serve as your guide to improve yourself.



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1. Learn to love your current situation.  See all the positive sides of life.  Be enthusiastic.  Love your boss, your coworkers, your family, your friends, and even strangers that you meet on the streets.

It may not be easy, but nothing is impossible with a strong will power. Just do not fall in love so much that you totally forget about your dreams. Love, but try to hold on to reality.

2. Balance is the key.  Dream and take some positive action to move you toward your goals. Take it one step at a time. 

While you are slowly starting on the long journey to success, be patient and be as enthusiastic as possible.  Do not hurry up too much that you totally forget how to enjoy life. Appreciate the beautiful things you will encounter on the journey.

One day, you will finally attain what you have always longed for.  But when that day comes, do not look down on those who belittled you. Forgive and forget.

3. Stay humble.  Do not criticize others when you see that you are becoming more successful than they are. Try to help them.  Inject your positive aura into their personalities.  When you give, you will yield back equal or greater rewards.

4. Are you ready to begin the journey?  Start it with the courage and desire to improve your life. Survive and go through it with persistence, enthusiasm, and positive thinking.  Finish it with a resounding bang of accomplishment and with the desire to help others succeed as well.

There are many other self improvement advice that will get as you get on with your daily life. Take note that you are not alone. There are others in much more difficult situations. That is why is there will be a shortage of free advice about self improvement you can get from other people who are only too happy to help.

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Thursday, 17 November 2011

10 Ways to Change the Way You Think

Here are 10 ways to shift your persepctives on life, to change the way you think:
  1. Take a different route - look for a different path to the same destination. Whether you're on a walk in the woods, or taking the bus to work, try exploring another route to give you some new ideas and insights into your environment 
  2.  Play the other's role, walk a mile in your enemy's moccassins - set your own opinions aside for a moment, and look at the same situation through another's eyes, try to see and feel what they are seeing and feeling. It doesn't matter whether you are arguing, or simply exchanging ideas, looking at a problem or question from someone else's perspective leads to a much greater understanding
  3. Notice your unloving thoughts, judgments and limiting beliefs - "I am too fat", "I can't...", "she's too pretty to notice me" "he's a freak" Change those negative thinking patterns to positives: "I look better and better every day", "I can...where there's a will, there's a way", " she is so lovely, somehow I intend to get to know her", "wow, now doesn't he look like an interesting fellow". It is awesome how shifting from a negative to a positive perspective starts attracting a lot more positives in your life - and makes you feel a lot better.
  4. Clear out the old - make room for new energy and new ideas by cleaning out the basement, the garage, closets, drawers, files. Clearing the clutter from our physical spaces is tantamount to clearing the clutter from your mind and heart. Just as we burden ourselves with old stuff that we don't need anymore, we burden our souls with thoughts and feelings that are old, no longer serving us. Tackling a clean-up in your living and working places, also clears and opens YOU.
  5. Change your routine, your daily schedule - evaluate your priorities, decide what's important in your life, then change your daily routines to allow you to focus on the priorities. Example, a client is a single parent of three young children and needs to work to support them. She is a loving Mom with great skills and a good job that she can manage on her own time from home. Yet I am often mystified at how frequently she gets lost in tasks that have nothing to do with making an income or caring for her family - and then suddenly notices that the gas is about to be cut off. If this woman would make the simple change of daily deciding what is important in terms of her family and income, she would make different choices about how to best allot her time in the day - and would not have to worry about the gas being cut off. Knowing your priorities, what's important to you, changes the way you think about using your resources, including your time.
  6. Notice your language - change your words, the way you express your thoughts and feelings and lo and behold, you change the energy around you. If I use a negative statement like "you can't do that because it's not safe", chances are I will be disputed, and the person I am trying to protect may even choose to take on the dangerous task, just to prove me wrong. But if I ask instead "how will you protect yourself in this job, it seems a little scary?" or "have you tested the safety harnesses?" this person will be far more thoughtful about the job, and will likely complete it successfully. Language is a powerful tool in changing the way we think - and also the way others react to us!
  7. Choose to be happy - be the source of your happiness, as opposed to expecting it to come through someone or something else. Happy people attract more happy people - and also happy circumstances in life. Being happy from moment to moment is about choosing to focus on what is good in your life and work - and setting the negatives aside. Taking time to smell the flowers, refusing to let the little disappointments take you down keeps your vibrational frequency high and makes it a lot easier to see solutions when you are presented with a problem.
  8. Meditate and pray frequently - send requests, as well as gratitude, loving thoughts and feelings through prayer; receive new ideas and inspiration through meditation. Prayer and meditation are essential parts of anyone's daily routine because they keep us connected to our souls and our Source. And through these connections we can open ourselves to new and more expansive thinking processes.
  9. Simplify, self-edit, seek clarity - apply the KISS principle in all you think, feel, say and do. An extremely intelligent client regularly calls me in a panic about a decision that he's seriously complicated with so many factors and future potentials that he is, of course, stuck, doesn't know what to do. Typically, I have to cut him off in the midst of his tale of woes to ask, "what's really relevant here?". I then go through the process of eliminating the fuzzy elements in his thinking, asking him to make it simple for me. Within a few minutes, he will see that while some of his concerns might be relevant down the road, they are not now and can be dealt with separately when and if they come up in the future. Invariably, he gets off the phone with a new sense of clarity and is able to easily make the right decision. Simplifying, whether in the way we live, or the way we analyze a problem, changes our perspective, and produces clarity.
  10. SMILE - smiling has a physical effect on the brain - and yes, also on the way we think. I called my psychologist sister one night, in some real personal distress about some family problems. She listened for a few minutes and then stopped me with the words "smile, smile, smile, whether you feel like it or not." Then she explained the physical effects of smiling, how it uplifts you by releasing some "happy hormones" in you... and these change your perspective on the problem at hand. I tried it, smiling like an idiot while I did the dishes, typed at the computer, talked to my friends - it worked... the family problems resolved themselves gently over the next few weeks. Smiling while you're talking on the phone actually comes through to the listener in your tone of voice; smiling while you deliver a needed reprimand makes it easier for the correction to be received; smiling while you work makes the work seem more enjoyable... and it all adds up to a change in the way you think about yourself and your world. That expression "fake it, 'til you make it" has real merit.


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Tuesday, 1 November 2011

Steve Jobs and the Seven Rules of Success


 

Steve Jobs' impact on your life cannot be overestimated. His innovations have likely touched nearly every aspect -- computers, movies, music and mobile. As a communications coach, I learned from Jobs that a presentation can, indeed, inspire. For entrepreneurs, Jobs' greatest legacy is the set of principles that drove his success.
Over the years, I've become a student of sorts of Jobs' career and life. Here's my take on the rules and values underpinning his success. Any of us can adopt them to unleash our "inner Steve Jobs."

1. Do what you love. Jobs once said, "People with passion can change the world for the better." Asked about the advice he would offer would-be entrepreneurs, he said, "I'd get a job as a busboy or something until I figured out what I was really passionate about." That's how much it meant to him. Passion is everything.

2. Put a dent in the universe. Jobs believed in the power of vision. He once asked then-Pepsi President, John Sculley, "Do you want to spend your life selling sugar water or do you want to change the world?" Don't lose sight of the big vision.

3. Make connections. Jobs once said creativity is connecting things. He meant that people with a broad set of life experiences can often see things that others miss. He took calligraphy classes that didn't have any practical use in his life -- until he built the Macintosh. Jobs traveled to India and Asia. He studied design and hospitality. Don't live in a bubble. Connect ideas from different fields.

4. Say no to 1,000 things. Jobs was as proud of what Apple chose not to do as he was of what Apple did. When he returned in Apple in 1997, he took a company with 350 products and reduced them to 10 products in a two-year period. Why? So he could put the "A-Team" on each product. What are you saying "no" to?  

5. Create insanely different experiences. Jobs also sought innovation in the customer-service experience. When he first came up with the concept for the Apple Stores, he said they would be different because instead of just moving boxes, the stores would enrich lives. Everything about the experience you have when you walk into an Apple store is intended to enrich your life and to create an emotional connection between you and the Apple brand. What are you doing to enrich the lives of your customers?

6. Master the message. You can have the greatest idea in the world, but if you can't communicate your ideas, it doesn't matter. Jobs was the world's greatest corporate storyteller. Instead of simply delivering a presentation like most people do, he informed, he educated, he inspired and he entertained, all in one presentation.

7. Sell dreams, not products. Jobs captured our imagination because he really understood his customer. He knew that tablets would not capture our imaginations if they were too complicated. The result? One button on the front of an iPad. It's so simple, a 2-year-old can use it. Your customers don't care about your product. They care about themselves, their hopes, their ambitions. Jobs taught us that if you help your customers reach their dreams, you'll win them over.
There's one story that I think sums up Jobs' career at Apple. An executive who had the job of reinventing the Disney Store once called up Jobs and asked for advice. His counsel? Dream bigger. I think that's the best advice he could leave us with. See genius in your craziness, believe in yourself, believe in your vision, and be constantly prepared to defend those ideas.


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Tuesday, 20 September 2011

Beautiful Thought by The Buddha




Once Buddha was travelling with a few of his followers. While they were passing a lake, Buddha told one of his disciples, "I am thirsty. Do get me some water from the lake."



The disciple walked up to the lake. At that moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake. As a result, the water became very muddy and turbid. The disciple thought, "How can I give this muddy water to Buddha to drink?"

So he came back and told Buddha, "The water in there is very muddy. I don't think it is fit to drink."

After about half an hour, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back to the lake.

The disciple went back, and found that the water was still muddy. He returned and informed Buddha about the same.

After sometime, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back.

This time, the disciple found the mud had settled down, and the water was clean and clear. So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to Buddha.

Buddha looked at the water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said," See what you did to make the water clean. You let it be, and the mud settled down on its own -- and you have clear water.

Your mind is like that too ! When it is disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time. It will settle down on its own. You don't have to put in any effort to calm it down. It will happen. It is effortless."

Having 'Peace of Mind' is not a strenuous job; it is an effortless process!


TREAT EVERYONE WITH POLITENESS
EVEN THOSE WHO ARE RUDE TO YOU
NOT BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT NICE
BUT BECAUSE YOU ARE NICE
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Saturday, 10 September 2011

Famous Personalities


Bill Gates
Are college dropouts more successful than people with good education? It would seem so if you consider that many billionaires are people who dumped college. However, what this hides is the fact that although millions quit studies before completing them, very few of them go on to become rich.
What the list of the super-rich dropouts signifies is that in business, a top degree is not as important as having the right aptitude, attitude, determination and vision.
Here are some dropouts who went on to become billionaires:
William Henry Gates III (1955-), along with Paul Allen, co-founded Microsoft Corporation, the world's largest software maker. Bill Gates, the wealthiest person in the world with an estimated net worth of $480 crores (Rs 211,200 crore!), is probably the best-known college dropout.
Gates attended an exclusive prep school in Seattle, went on to study at Harvard University, then dropped out to pursue software development. As students in the mid-70s, he and Paul Allen wrote the original Altair BASIC interpreter for the Altair 8800, the first commercially successful PC.
In 1975, Micro-Soft - later Microsoft Corporation - was born. Three decades on, Gates has been Number One on the Forbes 400 for over a dozen years. And here's something you probably didn't know: The Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation currently provides 90 per cent of the world budget for the attempted eradication of polio.


Larry Ellison

Lawrence Joseph Ellison (1944-), co-founder and CEO of Oracle Corporation, founded his company in 1977 with a sum of $2,000. Once a school dropout, he is now, according to Forbes, one of the richest people in America with a net worth of around $184 crores. The figure also makes him the ninth richest in the world.
As a young man, Ellison worked for the Ampex Corporation, where one of his projects was a database for the CIA. He called it Oracle, a name he was to reuse years later for the company that made him famous.
Interestingly, the organisation' s initial release was Oracle 2. The number supposedly implied that all bugs had been eliminated from an earlier version.
Ellison is quite a colourful man, and has long dabbled in all kinds of things. Want to learn more? Try his biography, The Difference Between God and Larry Ellison.


Dhirubhai Ambani

Dhirajlal Hirachand Ambani (1932-2002) was born into the family of a schoolteacher. It was a family of modest means. When he turned 16, Dhirubhai moved to Aden, working first as a gas-station attendant, then as a clerk in an oil company.
He returned to India at 26, starting a business with a meagre capital of $375. By the time of his demise, his company - Reliance Industries Ltd - had grown to become an empire, with an estimated annual turnover of $120 crores!
Dhirubhai was, in his lifetime, conferred the Indian Entrepreneur of the 20th Century Award by the Federation of Indian Chambers of Commerce and Industry. A Times of India poll in the year 2000 also voted him one of the biggest creators of wealth in this century.
Dhirubhai's is not just the usual
rags-to-riches story. He will be remembered as the one who rewrote Indian corporate history and built a truly global corporate group. He is also credited with having single-handedly breathed life into the Indian stock markets and bringing in thousands of investors to the bourses.


Steve Jobs

Steven Paul Jobs (1955-) and Apple Computer are names that have long gone together.
Born in the United States to an unknown Egyptian-Arab father, Jobs was adopted soon after birth. After graduating high school, he enrolled in Reed College, dropping out after one semester.
In 1976, 21-year-old Jobs and 26-year old Steve Wozniak founded Apple Computer Co. in the family garage. Jobs revolutionised the industry by popularising the concept of home computers.
By 1984, the Macintosh was introduced. He had an influential role in the building of the World-Wide Web, and also happens to be Chairman and CEO of Pixar Animation Studios.
Today, with the iPod, Apple is bigger than ever. Incidentally, Jobs worked for several years at an annual salary of $1. It got him a listing in the Guinness Book as `Lowest Paid Chief Executive Officer.' He was once gifted a $9 crores jet by the company though. And his net worth? Moer than $3 billion.

Michael Dell

Michael Saul Dell (1965- ) joined the University of Texas at Austin with the intention of becoming a physician. While studying there, he started a computer company in his dormitory, calling it PC's Limited. By the time he turned 19, it had notched up enough success to prompt Dell to dropout.
In 1987, PC's Limited changed its name to Dell Computer Corporation. By 2003, Dell, Inc. was the world's most profitable PC manufacturer.
Dell has won more than his fair share of accolades, including Man of the Year from PC Magazine and EM>CEO of the Year from Financial World . Forbes, in 2005, lists him as the 18th richest in the world with a net worth of around $1600 Crores.
Not bad for just another dropout.

Subhash Chandra Goel
Here's something not many people know about Subhash Chandra Goel : The Zee chairman dropped out after standard 12.
Subhash Chandra started his own vegetable oils unit at 19. It was, in a manner of speaking, his first job. Years later, a casual visit to a friend at Doordarshan gave him the idea of starting his own broadcasting company. We all know how that story ran.
Chandra knew nothing about programming, distribution or film rights. What he did understand quite well was the Indian sensibility though. Funded by UK businessmen, Zee came into being as India's first satellite TV network.
Today, it reaches 320 lakhs homes, connecting with 20 crores people in South Asia alone.


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Saturday, 6 August 2011

Self esteem improvement

Self esteem improvement;
Start now before it is too late
 

Be determined to improve your self esteem and you are on your way to great achievement.

Do not let a low self esteem ruin your life. The way you think about yourself determines how you interact with others.

What are some examples of low esteem aspects in you mind that you need improvement on?

1. Nothing you do seems to go right
2. You believe that most people do not like you.
3. You believe that you are not attractive.
4. You choose something and it turns out to be the worst one.
5. You are afraid to converse with others for fear that what you say might not make sense.
6. You feel swallowed up in a whirlpool of frustration.
What’s wrong with you? Your thoughts, actually.

Stop thinking that the world is closing in on you. Get determined to achieve what you desire. Stop blaming other people for your misfortunes. The world is not your problem, you are your own problem.

From this moment on, begin the process of self esteem improvement. Think the right way and be determined to win, and win you will. Just remember that success never comes easily and that is why determination is its counterpart.

Oftentimes, one gets to the brink of success and with just a little disappointment or setback, they lose heart and give up too easily and too soon. A surefire candidate to low self esteem improvement. Who knows what great things might have been achieved if only they had persevered.

Without a high self esteem, your life could be rather boring. Change your thinking and begin to see yourself on top of the world. Make a very special effort to be what you really want to be.

You have to seriously decide either to remain in a miserable state of low self esteem, or acquire self esteem improvement and develop a high self esteem with good character and self image.
The origin of low self esteem.

A low self esteem could begin way back in childhood when children are made to believe that they are worthless. Their self confidence is eroded and they succumb to the idea that they can never achieve success in anything that they do. They were picked on, laughed at, pushed around, called ugly names, and treated with disdain. No wonder they grew up to be full of resentment.

If that was your experience, it is time you cut yourself loose from that mindset and do self esteem improvement. Start reading about the life of successful persons and you will soon discover that many of them had such low self esteem that they could not even complete an elementary education.

Many decided to override their low self esteem and improve their attitude, whatever it took. They became some of the greatest men and women that ever lived.

Low self esteem has never helped anyone else and it sure will not help you. It can only drive you into depression, anger, grudge, fear and all the other evils that it generates.

Re-program your thinking and control your state of mind. You must believe that you are worth much more than you think or you will remain at the foot of the ladder and never make an attempt to climb it.

Do not waste your life away with feelings of inadequacies. Instead, think of ways to go about self esteem improvement. Success is yours, just reach out and grasp it.
 


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Friday, 5 August 2011

Self empowerment using people-unlock your social potential

Power through the people

Have you come across a person who is so naturally friendly that when you put him inside a room of strangers, he'll be friends with almost everyone in no time? We call such a people-person, someone unbelievably nice and charismatic that he can charm anyone into doing anything.

A socially-empowered person achieves so much greatness, basically because of the people that catapult him to success. He earns the trust and all-out support of the people, whom he had helped before. He never runs out of help. He can do anything with the plethora of people behind him. All because he knows he maximizes his social potential!

See, if you know your social skills and you make use of them, you will reach self-empowerment. Self-empowerment is making a general overhaul in your life and turning yourself into a happier and more successful person.If you can be one of those people-persons, then I can't see any reason why you will not succeed. You just have to know how to start.

1. Be genuine.

Hypocrisy will just bring you all the way down. Be genuinely nice and interested to people. Once they perceive that you are Mr. Hypocrite with selfish intentions, you might as well say goodbye to self-empowerment.

2. Be the greatest listener that you can be.

To earn the love and trust of the people, listen to their problems and sympathize with them. Do not just hear them out, listen to them with your heart. Make eye contact when the person talks to you. Listen as if every word matters, and it does. Brownie points when they find out that there is a confidante in you.

3. Laugh out loud.

I do not mean that you force yourself to laugh for every joke cracked by someone, albeit you do not find it funny at all.This means finding humor in things and not being too darn serious. A person oozing with an awesome sense of humor attracts crowds and eventually, attracts success.

4. Don't forget yourself.

In the process of fluttering around like a social butterfly, you might forget yourself, allowing everyone to push you over. Remember, love and value yourself before anyone else. If you deem yourself respectable and worthy of affection, people will flock to you and not trample on you.

5. Do random acts of kindness.

You don't have to do a John Rockefeller and blow your savings to charity. Little acts of kindness matters the most, and this can be as simple as giving someone a surprise you-take-care card or helping an elderly cross the street. When we were kindergarten students, kindness was taught to us and greatly practiced. Now is the time to revive the good deeds and this time, let them stay for good.

6. Contact your old friends.

Sad how some friendships are destined to goodbye, but thanks to technology, you can do something about it. Relive the good old days by flipping your yearbook and look for the great people whom you want to communicate with again. Adding these old friends to your roster of support peers will surely make you feel good all over.

7. Develop your personality.

Are you grouchy, grumpy and generally morose? Whoa, you can't go through life with those. Get rid of the bad traits and habits that perpetually hamper your growth. And really, who wants a grouchy friend anyway?

8. Be confident.

Be able to stride to the other corner of the room and introduce yourself to people with that winning smile of yours. Just remember: be confident, not arrogant.

9. Practice control.

When angry, don't snap at anyone. Never throw a tantrum. Stay calm and collected. Be adult enough to take control of situation and transform your anger into something more productive and passive. As soon as people think your anger goes to volcanic proportions easily, they will find it hard to come to you.

10. Keep nurturing your relationships.

Your relationship with your family, friends and significant others is too precious that you must not neglect it whatever happens. Go out and have fun with them. Do things together. Happiness will never fly from your side as long as the people who matter the most are close to you.

In the end, using people for self-empowerment means becoming a better and more lovable person. It's a win-win situation: the people know they can turn to you anytime and vice versa.

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Tuesday, 19 July 2011

Life Mapping: A Vision of Success

Success is more than economic gains, titles, and degrees. Planning for success is about mapping out all the aspects of your life. Similar to a map, you need to define the following details: origin, destination, vehicle, backpack, landmarks, and route.

Origin:  Who you are

A map has a starting point. Your origin is who you are right now. Most people when asked to introduce themselves would say, “Hi, I’m Jean and I am a 17-year old, senior highschool student.” It does not tell you about who Jean is; it only tells you her present preoccupation. To gain insights about yourself, you need to look closely at your beliefs, values, and principles aside from your economic, professional, cultural, and civil status. Moreover, you can also reflect on your experiences to give you insights on your good and not-so-good traits, skills, knowledge, strengths, and weaknesses. Upon introspection, Jean realized that she was highly motivated, generous, service-oriented, but impatient. Her inclination was in the biological-medical field. Furthermore, she believed that life must serve a purpose, and that wars were destructive to human dignity.

Destination: A vision of who you want to be

“Who do want to be?” this is your vision. Now it is important that you know yourself so that you would have a clearer idea of who you want to be; and the things you want to change whether they are attitudes, habits, or points of view. If you hardly know yourself, then your vision and targets for the future would also be unclear. Your destination should cover all the aspects of your being: the physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. Continuing Jean’s story, after she defined her beliefs, values, and principles in life, she decided that she wanted to have a life dedicated in serving her fellowmen.

Vehicle: Your Mission

A vehicle is the means by which you can reach your destination. It can be analogized to your mission or vocation in life. To a great extent, your mission would depend on what you know about yourself. Bases on Jean’s self-assessment, she decided that she was suited to become a doctor, and that she wanted to become one. Her chosen vocation was a medical doctor. Describing her vision-mission fully: it was to live a life dedicated to serving her fellowmen as a doctor in conflict-areas.

Travel Bag: Your knowledge, skills, and attitude

Food, drinks, medicines, and other travelling necessities are contained in a bag. Applying this concept to your life map, you also bring with you certain knowledge, skills, and attitudes. These determine your competence and help you in attaining your vision. Given such, there is a need for you to assess what knowledge, skills, and attitudes you have at present and what you need to gain along the way. This two-fold assessment will give you insights on your landmarks or measures of success. Jean realized that she needed to gain professional knowledge and skills on medicine so that she could become a doctor. She knew that she was a bit impatient with people so she realized that this was something she wanted to change.

Landmarks and Route: S.M.A.R.T. objectives

Landmarks confirm if you are on the right track while the route determines the travel time. Thus, in planning out your life, you also need to have landmarks and a route. These landmarks are your measures of success. These measures must be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time bound. Thus you cannot set two major landmarks such as earning a master’s degree and a doctorate degree within a period of three years, since the minimum number of years to complete a master’s degree is two years. Going back to Jean as an example, she identified the following landmarks in her life map: completing a bachelor’s degree in biology by the age of 21; completing medicine by the age of 27; earning her specialization in infectious diseases by the age of 30; getting deployed in local public hospitals of their town by the age of 32; and serving as doctor in war-torn areas by the age of 35.

Anticipate Turns, Detours, and Potholes

The purpose of your life map is to minimize hasty and spur-of-the-moment decisions that can make you lose your way. But oftentimes our plans are modified along the way due to some inconveniences, delays, and other situations beyond our control. Like in any path, there are turns, detours, and potholes thus; we must anticipate them and adjust accordingly.
 

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Tuesday, 28 June 2011

Does a Law on Human Attraction Exist ?

“Opposites attract” is a law of attraction, at least where electromagnetism is concerned. But are there laws about attraction between two people? “In a world that is full of strangers” as a line in a famous song of the 1980’s goes, is there a clear set of rules that allows two people to fall for each other?

Is attraction a matter of chemistry?

Maybe. According to scientists, the attraction between animals of the opposite sex is all about chemicals called pheromones. The effect of pheromones in behavior of insects is the most studied to date. It has been observed, at least in some experiments, that pheromones are responsible for communication among same species and colony of ants. The horrible odor released by skunks to ward off enemies is said to be a kind of pheromone. Some species of apes rub pheromone-containing urine on the feet of potential mates to attract them. Some scientists believe that animals (usually the females) such as insects and mammals send out these chemical signals to tell the male of their species that their genes are different from theirs. This gene diversity is important in producing offspring with better chances of survival. The perfume industry has capitalized on pheromones as a means to increase one’s sexual attractiveness to the opposite sex. Animals such as the whale and the musk deer were hunted down for these chemicals.

Lately, scientists are looking into the existence of human pheromones and its role in mate selection. There are many conflicting views in the realm of biology, chemistry, genetics, and psychology. Most scientists would assert that these do not exist, or if they do, do not play a role in sexual attraction between a man and a woman. But new researches such as that conducted by Swiss researchers from the University of Bern led by Klaus Wedekind are slowly making these scientists rethink their stand. Their experiment involved women sniffing the cotton shirts of different men during their ovulation period. It was found out that women prefer the smell of men’s shirts that were genetically different, but also shared similarities with the women’s genes. This, like in the case of insects and other mammals, was to ensure better and healthier characteristics for their future children. But researchers also cautioned that preference for a male odor is affected by the women’s ovulation period, the food that men eat, perfumes and other scented body products, and the use of contraceptive pills.

Does personality figure in sexual attraction?

Yes, but so does your perception of a potential mate’s personality. According to a research conducted by Klohnen, E.C., & S. Luo in 2003 on interpersonal attraction and personality, a person’s sense of self-security and at least the person’s perception of his/her partner were found to be strong determinants of attraction in hypothetical situations. What does this tell us? We prefer a certain personality type, which attracts you to a person. But aside from the actual personality of the person, which can only be verified through close interaction through time, it is your perception of your potential partner that attracts you to him/her, whether the person of your affection truly has that kind of personality or not. This could probably account for a statement commonly heard from men and women on their failed relationships: “I thought he/she was this kind of person.”

So how does attraction figure in relationships?

You have probably heard that attraction is a prelude, or a factor towards a relationship. Most probably, at least in the beginning; but attraction alone cannot make a relationship work. It is that attraction that makes you notice a person from the opposite sex, but once you get to know the person more, attraction is just one consideration. Shared values, dreams, and passions become more significant in long-term relationships.

So should I stop trying to become attractive?

More than trying to become physically attractive, work on all aspects of your health: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. Physical attraction is still a precursor. Remember, biology predisposes us to choose the partner with the healthiest genes. Where your emotions are concerned, just ask this to yourself: would you want to spend time with a person who feels insecure about him/herself? Probably not! There is wisdom in knowing yourself: who you are, your beliefs, values, and dreams. And do not pretend to be someone you are not. Fooling another person by making him/her think that you share the same values and beliefs is only going to cause you both disappointments. When you are healthy in all aspects, attractiveness becomes a consequence and not an end. As mentioned in the Klohnen and Luo’s research, a person’s sense of self-security matters, perhaps even beyond attraction. But remember: do these things for yourself and not for other people. Only then can you truly harness your attractiveness as a person.
 


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MOTIVATION, THE HEART OF SELF IMPROVEMENT

Pain may sometimes be the reason why people change. Getting flunked grades make us realize that we need to study. Debts remind us of our inability to look for a source of income. Being humiliated gives us the ‘push’ to speak up and fight for ourselves to save our face from the next embarrassments. It may be a bitter experience, a friend’s tragic story, a great movie, or an inspiring book that will help us get up and get just the right amount of motivation we need in order to improve ourselves.

With the countless negativities the world brings about, how do we keep motivated? Try on the tips I prepared from A to Z…

A - Achieve your dreams. Avoid negative people, things and places. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

B - Believe in your self, and in what you can do.

C – Consider things on every angle and aspect. Motivation comes from determination. To be able to understand life, you should feel the sun from both sides.

D – Don’t give up and don’t give in. Thomas Edison failed once, twice, more than thrice before he came up with his invention and perfected the incandescent light bulb. Make motivation as your steering wheel.

E – Enjoy. Work as if you don’t need money. Dance as if nobody’s watching. Love as if you never cried. Learn as if you’ll live forever. Motivation takes place when people are happy.

F – Family and Friends – are life’s greatest ‘F’ treasures. Don’t loose sight of them.

G – Give more than what is enough. Where does motivation and self improvement take place at work? At home? At school? When you exert extra effort in doing things.

H – Hang on to your dreams. They may dangle in there for a moment, but these little stars will be your driving force.

I – Ignore those who try to destroy you. Don’t let other people to get the best of you. Stay out of toxic people – the kind of friends who hates to hear about your success.

J – Just be yourself. The key to success is to be yourself. And the key to failure is to try to please everyone.

K – keep trying no matter how hard life may seem. When a person is motivated, eventually he sees a harsh life finally clearing out, paving the way to self improvement.
L – Learn to love your self. Now isn’t that easy?

M – Make things happen. Motivation is when your dreams are put into work clothes.

N – Never lie, cheat or steal. Always play a fair game.

O – Open your eyes. People should learn the horse attitude and horse sense. They see things in 2 ways – how they want things to be, and how they should be.

P – Practice makes perfect. Practice is about motivation. It lets us learn repertoire and ways on how can we recover from our mistakes.

Q – Quitters never win. And winners never quit. So, choose your fate – are you going to be a quitter? Or a winner?

R – Ready yourself. Motivation is also about preparation. We must hear the little voice within us telling us to get started before others will get on their feet and try to push us around. Remember, it wasn’t raining when Noah build the ark.

S – Stop procrastinating.

T – Take control of your life. Discipline or self control jives synonymously with motivation. Both are key factors in self improvement.

U – Understand others. If you know very well how to talk, you should also learn how to listen. Yearn to understand first, and to be understood the second.

V – Visualize it. Motivation without vision is like a boat on a dry land.

W – Want it more than anything. Dreaming means believing. And to believe is something that is rooted out from the roots of motivation and self improvement.

X – X Factor is what will make you different from the others. When you are motivated, you tend to put on “extras” on your life like extra time for family, extra help at work, extra care for friends, and so on.

Y – You are unique. No one in this world looks, acts, or talks like you. Value your life and existence, because you’re just going to spend it once.

Z – Zero in on your dreams and go for it!!!


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Setting Your Goals- Easier Said, Easily Done

The basics of setting a goal is an open secret known by top-caliber athletes, successful businessmen and businesswomen and all types of achievers in all the different fields. The basics of setting goals give you short-term and long-term motivation and focus. They help you set focus on the acquisition of required knowledge and help you to plan and organize your resources and your time so that you can get the best out of your life.

Setting clearly defined short term and long term goals will enable you to measure your progress and achieve personal satisfaction once you have successfully met your goals. Charting your progress will also enable you to actually see the stages of completion leading to the actual realization of your goals. This eliminates the feeling of a long and pointless grind towards achieving your goal. Your self-confidence and level of competence will also improve as you will be more aware of your capabilities as you complete or achieve your goals.

The basics of goal settings will involve deciding what you really want to do with your personal life and what short term and long term goals you need to achieve it. Then you have to break down goals into the smaller and manageable targets that you must complete in your way to achieving your lifetime targets. Once you have your list waste no time in tackling your goals.

A good way to have a manageable list is to have a daily and weekly set of goals. By doing this you will be always in the position of going towards you life plan goals. Everyday will give you the opportunity to fulfill a certain goal giving you the feeling of accomplishment.

Here are some pointers that should be taken into consideration in setting goals and achieving them.

Attitude plays a very big role in setting and achieving your goals. You must ask yourself  if any part of you or your mind holding you back towards completing your simplest goals? If there are any part of your behavior that is being a hindrance or puts your plans into disarray? If you do have problems in these areas then the immediate thing to do is to address this problem. Solutions may include a visit to a doctor or psychiatrist to control your emotions.

Careers are made by good time management practice. Failing in a career is often attributed to bad time management. Careers require a lot from an individual which often makes the career the life of the individual. Plan how far do you want to go into your career.

Education is key in achieving your goals. If your goals require you to have a certain kind of degree or require a certain specialization or demand a certain skill to be developed, make plans in getting the appropriate education.

Your family should never be left out of your plans. If you are just starting out then you have to decide if you want to be a parent or when you want to be a parent. You also have to know if you really would be a good parent and how well would you relate to extended family members

Personal financial situations also play a major role in achieving your goals. Have a realistic goal on how much you really want to earn. You also must be able to create plans or stages by which you will be able to reach your earning potential.

Physically gifted individuals may be able to achieve sports related goals like being in the National Basketball association or National Football League. Determining your physical capabilities should be one of your priorities. Physical limitations could however be conquered with proper planning.

As the saying goes -'All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy', or something to that effect, is by all means true down to the last the letter. Giving yourself a little pleasure: should be included into your plans.

To start achieving your lifetime goals, set a quarter of a century plan, then break it down to 5 year plans then break it down again to 1 year plans, then 6 month plans then monthly plans, then weekly, then daily.

Then create a things-to-do list for the day.

Always review your plans and prepare for contingencies.

The basics of goal settings should not be so difficult once you get to be familiar with them.
 


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Life is About Choices and the Decisions We Make

Life is like a road. There are long and short roads; smooth and rocky roads; crooked and straight paths. In our life many roads would come our way as we journey through life. There are roads that lead to a life of single blessedness, marriage, and religious vocation. There are also roads that lead to fame and fortune on one hand, or isolation and poverty on the other. There are roads to happiness as there are roads to sadness, roads towards victory and jubilation, and roads leading to defeat and disappointment.

Just like any road, there are corners, detours, and crossroads in life. Perhaps the most perplexing road that you would encounter is a crossroad. With four roads to choose from and with limited knowledge on where they would go, which road will you take? What is the guarantee that we would choose the right one along the way? Would you take any road, or just stay where you are: in front of a crossroad?


There are no guarantees.

You do not really know where a road will lead you until you take it. There are no guarantees. This is one of the most important things you need to realize about life. Nobody said that choosing to do the right thing all the time would always lead you to happiness. Loving someone with all your heart does not guarantee that it would be returned. Gaining fame and fortune does not guarantee happiness. Accepting a good word from an influential superior to cut your trip short up the career ladder is not always bad, especially if you are highly qualified and competent.  There are too many possible outcomes, which your really cannot control. The only thing you have power over is the decisions that you will make, and how you would act and react to different situations.


Wrong decisions are always at hindsight.

Had you known that you were making a wrong decision, would you have gone along with it? Perhaps not, why would you choose a certain path when you know it would get you lost? Why make a certain decision if you knew from the very beginning that it is not the right one. It is only after you have made a decision and reflected on it that you realize its soundness. If the consequences or outcomes are good for you, then you have decided correctly. Otherwise, your decision was wrong.


Take the risk: decide.

Since life offers no guarantee and you would never know that your decision would be wrong until you have made it, then you might as well take the risk and decide. It is definitely better than keeping yourself in limbo. Although it is true that one wrong turn could get you lost, it could also be that such a turn could be an opportunity for an adventure, moreover open more roads. It is all a matter of perspective. You have the choice between being a lost traveller or an accidental tourist of life.  But take caution that you do not make decisions haphazardly. Taking risks is not about being careless and stupid. Here are some pointers that could help you choose the best option in the face of life’s crossroads:
·    Get as many information as you can about your situation.

You cannot find the confidence to decide when you know so little about what you are faced with. Just like any news reporter, ask the 5 W’s: what, who, when, where, and why. What is the situation? Who are the people involved? When did this happen? Where is this leading? Why are you in this situation? These are just some of the possible questions to ask to know more about your situation. This is important. Oftentimes, the reason for indecision is the lack of information about a situation.

·    Identify and create options.

What options do the situation give you? Sometimes the options are few, but sometimes they are numerous. But what do you do when you think that the situation offers no options? This is the time that you create your own. Make your creative mind work. From the most simplistic to the most complicated, entertain all ideas. Do not shoot anything down when an idea comes to your head. Sometimes the most outrageous idea could prove to be the right one in the end. You can ask a friend to help you identify options and even make more options if you encounter some difficulty, but make sure that you make the decision yourself in the end.

·    Weigh the pros and cons of every option.

Assess each option by looking at the advantages and disadvantages it offers you. In this way, you get more insights about the consequences of such an option.

·    Trust yourself and make that decision.

Now that you have assessed your options, it is now time to trust yourself. Remember that there are no guarantees and wrong decisions are always at hindsight.  So choose… decide… believe that you are choosing the best option at this point in time.


Now that you have made a decision, be ready to face its consequences: good and bad. It may take you to a place of promise or to a land of problems. But the important thing is that you have chosen to live your life instead of remaining a bystander or a passive audience to your own life. Whether it is the right decision or not, only time can tell. But do not regret it whatever the outcome. Instead, learn from it and remember that you always have the chance to make better decisions in the future.
 


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Creative Notions

People seem to have the misconception that only a select few are able to unleash a steady flow of creative genius. That is not true at all. The fact is, creativity is very much like a muscle that needs to be exercised in order to consistently give out great results. If you don't practice harnessing creative thinking, this skill will very much atrophy into inexistence. But keep working and this skill will soon come to you in a snap.

So how do you unleash your creative thinking? Well, the first thing is to become a human leech. No, we're not talking about just sucking the blood out of every living being available, we're saying that you should take in as much knowledge and learning you can find. Read everything available -- good and bad, and keep your mind open to the infinite possibilities of the universe. The more you know, the more you'll want to know, and the more your faculty of wonder will be exercised. Prepare to be amazed at little facts that add a bit of color into your life. 

Focus on a creative activity everyday. Yes, it's an effort. Even doodling is a creative activity. Don't let anything hinder you. Mindlessness may be a creative activity, but for people who are just starting out to unleash a little bit of creative thinking in their lives, it is helpful and encouraging to have concrete evidence, that, "hey, what I'm doing is getting somewhere." So why don't you try it. Practice drawing for a couple of minutes each day. Bring out your old camera and start snapping photos like crazy. Keep a journal and make a point to write in it religiously. Another cool idea is to write by describing something with your five senses. Try to avoid vague adjectives like "marvelous," "amazing," and "delicious." Before you know it, you'll have built yourself a tiny portfolio, and you'll be amazed at the growth you've undertaken after amassing all those works of art. Who knows, you might actually take to liking those things you do everyday. Pretty soon those things will become a part of you and you'll be addicted to these creative exercises.

Think out of the box -- or don't. Sometimes, constraints are actually a good thing. Limitations discipline you to work within your means. It enables you to be more resourceful. Creative freedom is great, but limitations enforce discipline.

Try something new everyday and let your experiences broaden your perspective. Explore a new district in your neighborhood. Spend an afternoon in a museum to which you've never been before. Chat up someone on the bus. Open up to the people around you. As you thrust yourself out of your comfort zone more and more each day, your sense of adventure grows and so does your zest for life. Think about it. When was the last time you did something for the first time? If it's been a while, I tell you, you've been missing out on a whole lot of experiences that could've added to your growth, emotionally, mentally, physically, or spiritually. Why don't you try bungee jumping today? Not only will you learn, but you will also have plenty of stories to share, enabling you to practice your storytelling skills and making you the life of the party.

Embrace insanity. No, not to the point of practically admitting yourself into the mental ward. As John Russell once said, "Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting." Exactly! Every creative thought was once deemed insanity by other "normal" people at one time or another. Luckily, that didn't stop the creative geniuses from standing by them. The thing is, sanity or being normal confines people to think... well, normally. Withink limits. Creativity is essentially breaking through barriers. Yes, this includes the bizzarre and the downright strange. I'm not saying that you yourself should develop a creative personality. That might go haywire. An example of a creative personality would be George Washington, who often rode into battle naked, or James Joyce, who wrote "Dubliners" with beetle juice for an intense fear of ink, or Albert Einstein, who thought his cat was a spy sent by his rival (or in thinking creatively in this case, the term could probably be "archnemesis.") It's important that your creativity doesn't get you detached from the real world completely.

I hope this has inspired you to start thinking beyond your "limits." If you follow these steps pretty soon you'll be living a life full of interesting adventures. Unleashing your creative thinking  will bring about a new zest for living life. 


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5 Ways To Stay Focused On Your Goals


No matter how excited you are about your business, with so many distractions and things that may be going on in your life, you can easily find yourself losing focus on your goals and what you want to accomplish. Below you will find 5 things that will help you stay focused on your goals.

FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED

You probably have heard the saying, "So many things to do and not enough time to do them." Even though that may be true, you still have to complete them all, especially if these things help you to reach your goals. To make it easier for you, just take 1 thing you have to do and complete that task until it is done. When it is done, you will feel a sense of accomplishment and it will motivate you to move on to your next task.

ORGANIZE TO MAKE THINGS EASY AND SIMPLE

Take a moment to put things in order. If people write to you or send you orders in the mail, make 3 piles. Put the letters that need to be answered right away in the 1st pile. Letters that can be answered at a later date you can put in the 2nd pile and letters that have orders in them, you can put in the 3rd pile. Doing things like this in other areas of your life will help you keep things in priority and keep you focused on your goals.

CHANGE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT THINGS

If you find yourself at times having a negative attitude, you must realize that the way you look at things can make all the difference when it comes to reaching your goals. Even when obstacles stand in your way, maintaining a positive attitude, not a negative one and knowing that things can and will get better, will help you stay on track in reaching your goals.

UNDERSTAND GOALS WILL TAKE TIME TO REACH

Everything in life, if it is worth it, will take time. This goes for the goals you set for yourself. When you set goals, you should set 2 types of goals. A short term goal such as 6 months and also a long range goal, such as 3 years. You must realize that you are not going to reach your long term goals in 2 weeks. Whatever your goals may be, only through hard work, determination and keeping yourself focused, this is the way you will eventually reach your goals.

STUDY AND READ ARTICLES ON MOTIVATION

Reading articles, books or even listening to cassette tapes on motivation is a must if you want to keep yourself focused on your goals. Many successful people will tell you that even when they wanted to give up and throw in the towel, a paragraph in a book or something a motivational speaker said put them back on the right track and helped them reach their goals. So if you want to stay focused on your goals, take these 5 points and put them into action today.


Can You Hear Yourself Lead?

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Do you find days turning into weeks, which turn into years and suddenly you're not sure where it's all gone? Does it seem like your no longer navigating your own life but your life and your schedule are navigating you instead? Can you hear yourself lead? If this describes you, stop. Just stop. Stand still, be still, and let yourself remember what the silence feels like.

So often in the world we call business, we go so fast we lose our ability to keep up when, in fact, keeping up is impossible. Simply put, if you're caught up, you're out of business. Business is the competitive pull and push that can kick our navigational system clean out of whack. To get back in control, you have to stop and listen.

We are taught to listen to everyone else. That listening is the greater asset. However, we are never taught to listen to ourselves. Creativity dies in the face of too much noise. Without creativity everything in your life suffers, including your business. Sometimes the most important person to listen to is ..you. Yes, you have something to say but if you never stop to listen you won't ever get back to navigating again.

So here's what you can do to put yourself back in the driver's seat :

1. Start the day by emptying your emotions into a journal. Let all the emotional garbage out on paper. Now, don't read it. Ever. Too hard to do? Rip it up and throw it away. This is just a tool to get the frustrations processed and out of your life so you can move on. So you can hear yourself think again. Sometimes our lives get filled up with everyone else's chatter. This helps us empty that out.

2. Take 15 minutes out of the middle of your day and rest. Just stop everything. Go to a room; take off the phone, the fax, the instant messenger and the ringer on your email. Find a place where you won't be bothered and stop. Take ten deep breaths. Let your mind empty. Try to spend at least five minutes of the fifteen thinking of nothing. Don't laugh, it's really hard to do. Think of nothing. Empty your brain and give your soul a rest.

3. Walk. Walking doesn't just exercise your body, it relaxes your soul. Walk with a friend, or walk alone, but walk. This isn't about exercise, it's about letting your mind breath, outside, in the rain, in the sun, in the snow..in the fresh air. It works!

4. Okay, this is the most important. At the end of the day, spend another 15 minutes writing down all the advice that was given to you today. All those noteworthy, seemingly wise bits of advice that get hurled at us everyday. It doesn't matter where they came from, a book, a phone call, a radio station.. doesn't matter. If you can remember it write it down. Now read them all. Do any of them feel adverse to your own feelings and thoughts? Great, cross them out and forget them. Learn to trust that some things will work for you and some things won't. Once you have learned this principle you will find yourself getting back into the drivers seat of your own life again.

Remember you're important too and you are the only one that lives the results and consequences of your own life. Be gentle with yourself and take the time to take the time. Suddenly hours will screech back to normal speed, life will feel worth the effort, and your goals will be realized again.


CONFIDENCE

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Every day is a new day in our life. There is much to do today. The early morning sun inspires us to start things freshly and put back our past. Only a handful of us make use of this fresh bunch of energy. In various walks of life this affects the way we behave and our confidence level. Confidence is a key to survive in this world. It is the only key tool to win the rat race in every walk of life. Confidence in ones own capabilities combined with sincere efforts helps one to achieve unthinkable heights. But many times we see that this basic element of confidence is missing in us. As a result of lack of confidence we perform well below our caliber. Be it in a public speech, proposing your beloved, vivas in your college or in an interview or say even on the eve before your exams. This can be due to fear of being rejected or any other reason.




If we look into our hearts and think, we will come to know that fear inside us is going to get us nowhere. The confidence inside us is going to take us places. This is because with confidence we can put our thoughts into words in a better and pleasing way. So we have to get out of that shell where we think whether people will accept us as we are? Instead of living in these unending moments of fear and thoughtless analysis it is better if we project ourselves with the skills we have with the gloss of confidence. With confidence we can portray the finer points of our personality in such a way that the places where we do lack are never highlighted.

Confidence should glow in us only till the point where our personality is boosted. Above this it leads to over-confidence that is harmful.

Over confidence results in unsatisfied performance levels as the seed of ego grows into a plant into our mind. We then imagine and make big talks just to maintain our ego. So guys don't let the seed of ego to germinate in your mind, as this seed should be used only for you to live up to your expectations.

Confidence is all about being cool, calm and composed.

So guys do u have it in you? If u think u don't, boost up yourselves as your mind is your greatest mentor .You are your greatest helper




Different Strokes Of Our Duties

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Life teaches us to live. To live, you have to exist. To exist, you should have a passport to this living world. Thanks your parents, who brought you into this world.

Parents have taken care of us and satisfied all our needs. They helped whenever we were hungry, afraid or ill. They were always there by you, whenever you needed them. You almost assumed that they will always be there for you and never thought of how your life would be without them. But as you grow up, age also catches up with your parents and they need your help and support.

Man is a child first, after which he attains his youth. After youth he again goes through the second phase of childhood, also called as old age. This is the phase where everyone needs a comfort of a sense of belonging and being taken care of. Wouldn't we all expect the same sense of security when we grow old? Even our parents are expecting us to be their caretaker, as they grow old. But they never make that obvious to us. They do their further duty by taking care of their grandchildren, paying e-bills, giving the clothes for laundry etc.

Isn't it unfair on our part that we aren't giving them what they need the most? It is our prime duty to take the very best care of them. It's our pay back time. Lets give the same sense of emotional security, care and love to our parents in their old age.

Some of us mistreat our parents and consider them more of a liability than an asset. Some of us move away from them, though our conscience pricks us. We err in our duties for not being dutiful. This guilty feeling is further wrapped into a sense of regret, when we will be treated in the same way by our future generation. After all you only get what you deserve. Don't you?

Let's keep in mind that to be a manager, husband or father, we first have to be a son.


MOTIVATE YOURSELF

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One of the greatest virtues of human beings is their ability to think and act accordingly. The emergence of the techno savvy man from the tree swinging ape has really been a long journey. This transition has taken a span of countless centuries and lots of thinking caps have been involved. Inquisitiveness and aspiration to come out with the best have been the pillars for man's quest for development. Self-motivation is the sheer force, which pulled him apart and distinguished him from his primitive ancestors.


Many times, in our life, when we are reviving old memories we get into a phase of nostalgia. We feel that we could have done better than what we had achieved. Be it thinking about that nerve shattering school result, because of which you couldn't get into your favorite stream or that single mark, which could have secured you a merit seat in your engineering college. But thinking back wont rewind the tireless worker called time. All we can do is promise ourselves that we will give our very best in the future. But do we really keep up to our mental commitments? I can guess that 90% answers are in the negative. This is because of that creepy careless attitude which is slowly, but surely entering into the mind of teenagers like us. We easily forget the pains of yesterday to relish the joys of today. This is the only time in our life, when we can control our fate, by controlling our mind. So it is time to pull up our socks and really motivate ourselves so that we can give our best shot in the future. Self-motivation is the need of the hour. Only we can control and restrict ourselves. Its upto us, how we use our mental capabilities to the best of our abilities.

Here are some Funda's for self-motivation. Don't just read them digest each one of them and apply them and I bet it will make a better YOU.

The ultimate motivator is defeat. Once you are defeated, you have nowhere to go except the top.
Then only thing stopping you is yourself.
There is no guarantee that tomorrow will come. So do it today.
Intentions don't count, but action's do.
Don't let who you are, stunt what you want to be.
Success is the greatest motivator.
Your goals must be clear, but the guidelines must be flexible.


Try to include these one liners in your scrapbook or on your favorite poster. You will be sub-consciously tuned to achieve what you want. Also do keep in mind that nothing can control your destiny but you!



The Power Of Expressions

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Expressions are a way of giving some life to the thoughts and feelings inside us. When you cry, u express sadness and disappointment. When you catch a good joke, you laugh a lot and express the pleasure.

Expressions are a part and parcel of every human being on this earth. Every person has the right to express himself. It is only through expressions that one can achieve a harmony between the physical exterior and the mental core. It is a way of giving life to your thoughts and feelings. But not everyone expresses freely. The main reasons are the barriers we have created within ourselves. We always think of what the world would think of us. Because of this we restrain ourselves from laughingly completely, tilting our head, or even scratching our ears! We try to be not what we are, but what we think will appeal to the world. Hardly do we realize that the world is just like us. It will be busy thinking of what we will think of it, rather than analyzing our actions.


When one expresses one self freely, it's the ultimate satisfaction for the mind. This is because the physical hardware of the human body is faithfully supporting its mental software. The person then is always comfortable anywhere with anyone and at anytime! If one doesn't express properly, it wont make the sun rise in the west, but it will only lead to increased frustrations. When frustrations increase, efficiency decreases and a person starts blaming the world, god or anyone in general.

Well to practically speak of expressions, once you start using them in your normal day to day life, u will get used to them. Also people around you will get used to your expressions. When the doyen of Indian film industry Mr. Amitabh Bachchan came into the movies, he had one eye smaller than the other. He however carried on without being self conscious about it and captured the heart of countless Indians dead and alive. Also Sylvester Stallone, who is the famous Mr. Big Muscles from Hollywood was actually having some mental problems in his childhood. Even now look at his eyes and you will get a rare glimpse. But then he came above all that and now you can all see how big he has become.

If you are angry at some one, let him know. If you admire someone, let that person know. If you love someone, let her know, because life is too short to keep these things as secret. Express yourself and spice up your life.



Watch Out Before You Speak

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Communication in any form is used for exchange of information. The links called words make communication work. Without words its difficult to imagine how we could have come so long in the history of human evolution. Word is not only a 4-letter thing, but it is something deeper than that.


Whenever a word is uttered it is due to synchronization of lip movement and tongue movement. To get out that word from our mouth, a lot of thinking and analysis has been happening in our sub conscious mind. We don't realize it because all this happens in less than one millionth of a second. Most of the times we don't think over what we have uttered. Word is not only a link, but it initiates response from the listener.

The word, which we have uttered, acts on every part of the listener's body. Like if u share a joke using a group of words, u make the listener to laugh. He may pound his hands and fist and then calm down. The very word which u have uttered has allowed him to flush his emotions out in the form of laughter or smile. If you talk about a tragic incident, the listener may close his eyes for a second and offer his condolences. Words uttered vibrate on the mind of the listener. It acts on his mind. Selection and thought prior to communication is very important.

Sometimes we say things which we shouldn't have or we carelessly utter unwanted words (mind you I am not talking of abuses). These things may affect the other person emotionally and mentally. For us it would have been just a matter of second to wag our tongue, but for the listener it is going to be the only thing at the back of his mind. By using unwanted words or speaking more than necessary, we not only hurt someone, but we also add a spot of dust to our social image. Your future interaction with the person may be based on that single word. Using proper words while talking is just like selecting the items listed out by your mom from the supermarket. You select the best brand from the specific domain, where your item is found.
So guys watch before you speak because the actions of the listener may be louder than your words!
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Thursday, 9 June 2011

YOU ARE UNIQUE !

Fun & Info @ Keralites.net


Don't ever forget that you are Unique.
Be your best self and not an
imitation of someone else.

Find your strength and use
them in a positive way.


Don't listen to those who redicule the choices you make.


Travel the road that you have
chosen and don't
look back with regret.



You have to take chances to
make your dreams happen.


Remember that there is plenty
of time to travel another road -
and still another in your journey through life.


Take the time to take the route that is right for you.
You will learn something

valuable every trip you take,
so don't be afraid to make mistakes.


Tell yourself that you're okay
as the way you are.
make friends who
respect your true self.


Take the time to be alone,
too, so you can know
just how terrific your
own company be.


Remember that being alone doesn't always mean
being lonely, it can be beautiful

experiance of finding your creativity, your heartfelt feelings,
and the clam and quiet

peace deep inside you.
Don't ever forget that you
are special and you have
within you the ability to make
your dreams come true.

http://earntotal.blogspot.com/